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Sometimes a reason not to go to Cancun is almost a reason TO go, for what could be packaged as an ‘O the Humanity! Vacation’. Not these. These are reasons to give Cancun a wide berth. Stay home. Just as long as you stay away.
Actually, you should start practicing an Australian accent now, for whenever you do travel. This way you don’t have to be associated with these fat morons, your countrymen.
The Swine Flu
This isn’t ‘Major Outbreak! AIYEEE!’ level stuff, but you can catch Swine Flu in Mexico. This only puts a spotlight on all the places where you CAN’T catch swine flu, like home.
This is one of the few ways Cancun is like, well, Mexico. You can’t drink the water. Sounds like a stereotype, you say? Be our guest, and drink up, sport.
In fact, we change our minds. You SHOULD visit, just so you can see how crooked cops can be. At a certain point it’s just ‘tipping’.
Not Very Mexican
Cancun is not the place to visit for authentic Mexican culture. Because half of everyone there is all about the water, not about ‘being in Mexico’, Cancun doesn’t even see a need to try being Mexican.
Unless you’re in the Spring Break horde, you don’t want to be IN it – except for that Girls Gone Wild dimension. But you’re better than that, right?
It’s off the hook! Whole regions are run by crime gangs. In other regions, the crime gangs and the police are indistinguishable. Kidnapping is a cottage industry.
Long Lines At The Border
Border cops are on the lookout for illegals and contraband and, let’s be honest, you DO look a little suspicious.
Valuables Often Go Missing
Think of it all as a life lesson. It’s just a camera, a laptop, a wallet… Don’t be so attached to things.
Hope You Like Food Hot Hot Hot
Sure, you can find spicy food Up North, but we’re talking about everything being hot, including a lot of the desserts. Ay, Caramba!
Hope You Like Weather Hot Hot Hot
Summer in Cancun is SPECIAL yo. But if you save your breath we feel a man like you can manage it.
Hailing a Taxi Could Be Lethal
Take a cab and who knows where you’ll end up? Anyhow, we’ll see you Sundays. That’s when we buy our milk.
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